Aug 5, 2016

Empowering Women - Two of My Favorite Videos from Lada Duncheva on 'Femininity'

AstroLada is a true Visionary.
She shares a lot of wisdom and insights generously on her YouTube channel and her website... Here are two of my favorite videos from Lada, as I continue to contemplate on this topic of 'Femininity'~*

#1. This is the shorter & funner video in my opinion~
Lada helps us understand how each of us have different 'Goddess' needs and yearnings. Listen now, to learn how to work out your own combination of signs and planetary influences that imprint your own brand of Femininity!

Look for your Venus and Moon signs!
Moon is about your emotional needs, and how your mind works and responds.
Venus is about loving yourself, and knowing what makes you happy.

When we are aligned with our Venus and Moon signs, we'll be more balanced and have better self care that actually works for us, and you'll be able to radiate this love outwardly because your inner needs and desires will be met first...!

Harness your True Femininity. The Secret of Being a Happy and Loved Woman

Oh, I said 'shorter' because you can pick out your own signs... and you won't have to listen to the entire 2 hours! In totality, the second video is shorter.

Thanks to Patchouli for this index!
Time-stamps by Element & Sign
Fire Signs 23:16 {Aries 35:04} {Leo 41:51} {Sagittarius 50:28}
Air Signs 55:21 {Gemini 57:47} {Libra 1:04:57} {Aquarius 1:09:26}
Water Signs 1:14:33 {Cancer 1:18:37} {Scorpio 1:22:21} {Pisces 1:31:07}
Earth Signs 1:35:28 {Taurus 1:37:26} {Virgo 1:41:10} {Capricorn 1:48:19}

- - -
#2. This is another true gem which I hope all women will watch! There is a real insight into how men and women relate... So many of the mysteries that puzzled me and perplexed me were answered in this video!

How to Become Irresistible to Men and Attract Love. The Secret of Female Power

Things like why men cheat so much, what is driving men and women to how they operate in a relationship... How our physical bodies and how they are shaped actually are teaching us so much about the polarity of our femininity and masculinity and how they are manifested in our interaction with the opposite gender!!

= = =
I have felt so empowered as a woman from Lada's knowledge and passion to educate us! I hope she prospers and continues to teach us what she learns!

Love & Light,

Jessica FlatShoenista

Aug 4, 2016

Reclaim Your Feminine Power of Being Vulnerable - An Inspiring Video of Tony Robbins Coaching a Defeminized Woman~!!

Creating Unstoppable Self Confidence Tony Robbins Best Motivational Video; (Full)

Hi readers!
Recently, I came across a phenomenal video featuring Tony Robbins aka the Giant Guru of motivational talks, and it has truly reinforced my new found beliefs on the immense power of being a woman... a woman that is 'in touch with' the Feminine part of herself.

The video is quite long, it's almost 2 hours long. But given how monumental this subject matter is, it is well worth a view. In it, you will find the story of an elderly woman named Lisa who at a young age was traumatized by a strict and abusive father, and how in one defining moment of her life, she chose to deal with her 'sense of humiliation' by becoming more masculine rather than breaking down in tears. 

Before & After pic of Lisa, as she is transformed into what Tony Robbins calls
a "Feminine Monster" - jokingly of course!

I thought a lot about my maternal grandma who is 90 something now. From the way Lisa was holding herself, it reminded me so much of my grandma who was so poised but also rather cold. The unraveling story of Lisa's life and how she has continued to affect the lives of her own children, a son and a daughter, all felt so relatable to how my family is. Basically, I could see myself in Lisa.

I know this is a 'fact' because in one of my recent conversations with my sister, she confirmed that I have this 'uber masculine' side of me. And she explained how when I wore pants, somehow, my femininity seemed to instantly disappear and the way I talked and walked all seemed to project a highly masculine energy. She added that I was a lot softer and more 'normal' when I dressed in skirts and more feminine clothes.

I don't want to tell people that there is only one way of expressing their identity. Our identities are not a fixed thing, it is fluid, it responds to circumstances, it grows, it breathes, it expands, and matures.

But, just as I spend more time reflecting on the sermons and scriptures, and the shares at my church small group meetings, it is beginning to dawn on me that perhaps, we need both; the 'individuality' but also 'the universality' of our feminine identity.

For me, what that means is to a) be dressed in a universally feminine way as prescribed by the scriptures, and b) add a few touches and elements that answer to my individuality based needs. Eg. I would opt for dresses and skirts over pants and shorts, unless I am going out for an outdoors activity that requires pants or shorts, and to choose garments that are not too restrictive or heavy on my body.

That wordage 'Universal Beauty' is really growing on me too. Before we are divided into 12 different types of beauties, all screaming for attention, and trying to outdo one another, or trying too hard to 'be distinctive' ... we're all women, and we all share a fundamental commonality. And thanks to Tony Robbins, I can see that it's not just down to the stuff we put over our bodies. It really has a lot to do with our life stories, and family traditions, and our choices that we make on who we choose to be. 

Lisa's story is really poignant in that her arch enemy was her sister, who unlike Lisa chose to be vulnerable at the face of their father's tyranny and physical violence. Her sister broke into tears and that actually ended her father targeting her for further violence. Lisa's choice to stand up to her father to earn respect, while dignified, meant that she chose to silence her vulnerability and pain, and she buried them under her masculine guile. She invited further violence from her father, and as her story is traced in depth by Tony Robbins, you'll notice immediately how her own awareness of the ramifications of her choice affects her facial and bodily muscles. You'll get to see how she's transformed from a man-woman into a real woman...

With this, I'd like to close...
and I wish you from my heart that you'll get to fully discover, establish, and relish in your divinely given feminine power! Which in turn will directly nurture and nourish everyone around you... with love, joy, sweetness of life, and dance.

Love and light,

Jessica FlatShoenista

Aug 1, 2016

3 Beauty Rituals I Really Enjoyed - Miracle Ball | Facercise | Envy Workout

It just occurred to me that over the years I've tried this and that to be fitter and look less aged... And here are the top 3 that I have really had fun with~

#3. The Miracle Ball by Elaine Petrone

I stumbled across these while I was visiting my sister in the US, at some supermarket. It was pretty cheap and the rubber balls looked kinda cute and the book seemed promising. I tend to lead a sedentary lifestyle with heavy uses of my brains... and this is the most pain-relieving exercise I've ever done. The book explains very clearly how our body is actually all connected and how misalignment can cause so much pain in our bodies. It's also a really great stress relieving exercise so I highly recommend it to everyone who wants a very easy exercise.

#2. Facercise by Carole Maggio

I have a Korean translation version of this book. It's been drilled in me by my Mom to never have plastic surgery... So I though this was a good alternative to try out just for fun. The poses are so funny, ridiculous, silly... but the results are really worth it! One time, I did this and went on a date, the guy almost sexually assaulted me so be warned... It's really powerful... He kept saying how I look much better than the photo he had seen of me. So yeah. It works. My favorite exercise is the one that makes my nose look shorter; as we age, gravity really makes all our facial muscles and features droop low. With the exercises Carole teaches, you'll visibly see difference right away or within a week or so. I also like doing the eyes/eyebrows exercise because I have dark circles quite often, and the neck exercise just feels good like a good kind of painful that stretches all the right muscle groups!

#1. The Envy Workout by Envy Girls

Although the more serious fitness girls think that this is too goofy and a bit 'fake' or 'superficial' for their Barbie image, I love the whole body warm up and the mellow background music with beats in these series. It's a good mix of at home exercises. I bought the DVD but the American DVD doesn't work well on Korean machines. So I ended up watching the YouTube videos.

Abs of Envy Workout Warm Up Video by Envy Girls on YouTube

Abs of Envy 20 Minute Work Out Video by Envy Girls on YouTube

On busy days, I used to do the warm up followed by the quick workout video...
Abs of Envy 5 Minute Quick Workout Video by Envy Girls on YouTube

The Envy Girls have videos for working out your arms, butt, and legs too. For some reason I enjoyed the Abs workout the most. Maybe because of my muffin top... :P

Aight, ladies~
I hope you have a fabulous fit & fashionable day today!

Much love & light, blessings to you & your family!

Jessica FlatShoenista

Jul 28, 2016

Fashion Choices for a Christian Woman

So, to reflect my changing values as a Christian, it came down to...

a) choosing fully covered clothing; longer skirts that come down to knees, no sleeveless tops, nothing too figure showing but also not too butch
b) choosing blouses over shirts
c) choosing colors that are not too flashy, and not too masculine
d) little pattern, less decorations
e) only the cross necklace should be distinct and shiny
f) makeup to suggest grooming and care, but nothing in your face
g) flat shoes over heels
h) bags that are durable and neat looking, but nothing that screams prestige
i) jewelry kept to a minimum; stud earrings as tiny as possible, maybe a watch
j) no pants, no shorts, no sexy dresses of any kind, no bombshell styles, nothing too trendy; overall a quieter and elegant but not prestige-seeking look, "demure"
k) French manicure or any nude-pink gentle colors for nails
l) hairstyle to be slightly longer than shorter; no extreme hairstyle that is too attention-getting, eg. no pixie cut or undercut styles, no bombshell or bedroom or beach hair, no severe cuts like straight bangs

What I'd Wear as a Christian Woman

Eleventy silk top
349,510 KRW -

Vanessa Bruno white blouse
190,315 KRW -

Chicwish long sleeve shirt
50,965 KRW -

White blouse
13,360 KRW -

Glamorous shirt blouse
34,195 KRW -

Oscar de la Renta midi skirt
1,799,080 KRW -

Bally brown skirt
1,127,635 KRW -

Bally flat shoes
198,895 KRW -

Bally patent leather shoes
112,185 KRW -

Bally tote purse
1,249,575 KRW -

Bally genuine leather wallet
447,655 KRW -

Roberto Coin cross necklace
3,221,385 KRW -

The Horse leather band watch
117,655 KRW -

Forever 21 rhinestone earrings
6,685 KRW -

24,935 KRW -

24,935 KRW -

Jul 27, 2016

Fashion, Sin, and Centrality of Fashion between Man and God's Relationship

A few days ago, I got to thinking about what God wants in how I dress.
I've begun attending a church last year May (2015), and it has been a life changing event for me.

Since I didn't have much info, I began Googling about it. Has God said anything specific in what he wants regarding this passionate hobby and job of mine? What was his will for me in this regard?

To put it bluntly, I have found 2 things:
#1. Don't dress like a slut. Cover yourself up.
#2. Dress like a woman/girl. Not a man.

The Bible does not engage in petty details on what to wear or not to wear. But perhaps the bigger principle God wants is this:
##. Do not make Image, especially Image of Yourself your God.
##. Do not be so preoccupied to adorning yourself, while neglecting your real duties on Earth.

- - -
Delving deeper though, on how clothing features in the Bible, I remembered how Adam and Eve first roamed around the Garden of Eden freely, totally naked. And after their fall, in shame they covered themselves up with leaves they found. And they could not even approach God despite their leaf-clad bodies. Their shame was that intense.

And it was God who in seeking them and calling them to him, that clothed them in animal skin. He really wanted Adam and Eve to have no obstacle in coming closer to him. So he clad us with something more durable. And he sacrificed animal blood to keep us clothed and less afraid.

So clothing was born and closely related to Sin, right from the beginning of the beginning. And it was a central element that symbolized the nature of our relationship to God, and of our Sinful nature.

- - -
In later scriptures though, there are still quite a few references to clothing and fashion.

The one's I have heard of so far go as the following:
#1. Joseph's Coat of Many Colors
#2. Joseph running away leaving his Coat behind when his boss's wife seduces him
#3. The Roman soldiers casting lots on Jesus's clothes, dividing them up for entertainment, de-robing Jesus before his Crucifixion
#4. A sinful Egyptian wife, cheating on her husband with a multi-colored and patterned bed linen which is a set up to seduce a young man in the streets
#5. Dinah getting raped from a party she attended, and the mention of her brothers all covered in silver jewelry, which represents how they had all taken to the ways of the world

On the topic of disguise, there are at least 3 stories:
#1. Jacob feigning his brother Esau's hand by adding animal skin to his hand, in order to steal the blessing from Isaac
#2. Jacob is tricked by Laban his uncle who disguises her first daughter as her second one who is much prettier
#3. Tamar dressing as a prostitute to trick Judah, but she was doing it as inspired by God

- - -
I'm noting how each of the stories are illustrations of 'things going wrong' and following the wrong things except for Tamar's case. And this brings us to this scripture:

John 2:16 For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world.

 And this is the cause for pause for me.
"...the lust of the eyes"

Every thing I have learnt as as designer, visual communication major, advertising art director, and image consultant has the sole purpose of delighting the eyes, manipulating people to either buy or choose something.

Every technique and principle is basically to meet the requirements and cravings for those 'lust of the eyes.'

Worse still, while learning about personality and how I am motivated is helpful, if resting on those, it is another big Sin in God's eyes. We were not created to worship our own bodies and place ourselves where God is supposed to be.

With these thoughts, I'll leave you for now.
Much to think on, and something to wait for God's directions on...

Love & Light to you~***

Jessica FlatShoenista

Jul 22, 2016

Figuring Out My Style Identity - Based on Psychology

Hello Readers!

OK, this is a long overdue post. But I waited until I was absolutely clear on releasing this content. And, today, I am ready. :)

So, as many of you know, I began this journey of "Adventures in Types and Seasons" dating back to 2011. It was Jeannine Byers's ad or link on Facebook which was an affiliate program at the time. I had discovered Dressing Your Truth and was totally enthralled by it.

I watched through all the videos, profiled myself as a tough tie between Type 1 and Type 2, based on my facial profile and body language. But I couldn't decide which was the dominant expression in me.

Since, I have already blogged in detail about why I'm stopping my DYT T4 looks, I will keep this part of the story short. In short, I had spent a lot of my money shopping to buy each type of look, but I couldn't arrive at a conclusive Type. I did get help from the DYT team, but I live out here in Korea and I couldn't get to the Energy Dressing that they offered.

I happen to be an ENTP in the Myers Briggs Type Indicator system, and the two letters in the middle NT stands for someone who is an intuitive & a Thinker. We're also known as the Rationals. So, naturally, I wanted a system where I would know myself on a metric basis. And after surveying all of the available fashion & image related services that was available to me in English speaking countries, Korea, and Japan, I realized that as yet, there was no conclusive Identity Assessment given in the fashion field.

Around that time, I was leaving my English Teaching job, and I decided to a) become an Identity Coach, and b) get certified by the most qualified Image Consultant. For me, this had been a life long dream actually. Ever since I was a little girl, I wanted to be Miss Korea and had a deep admiration for the Beauty & Glamour world. It wasn't something I could openly pursue though because I came from a very conservative Asian family. Such a thing just could not be heard of. We had to pursue an intellectual's path. And what I had a love for was considered shallow and superficial. :( And my Mom told me that it was Vain and therefore not allowed. She even made me wear glasses to my prom night, and I looked like Harry Potter. So, you get the picture. Nerdy girl, from a nerdy heritage...

Well. As God would have me in luck, my father who is a Business & Life Coach called me up asking me if I would like to take a course given by his friend, Master Hur. The course was called Adler Identity Coaching and there were 3 levels to it.

I enrolled and I was so blown away by a quiz my Master gave me. It was a metric based questionnaire, and I found out that among the 4 types, I was the Pleasure and Pleasing Seeking Identity dominant with a supporting Superiority Seeking Identity.

I tested my sister and she came out Control and Management Seeking Identity dominant with a supportive Comfort Seeking Identity. I read her the descriptions and what the type prefers and hates, and she said it was eerily accurate!

After I found out my Adler Identity type, I was actually shocked and numb in my brain for like a month though because I had thought of myself differently. I thought I was a Superiority Seeking identity based on how competitive and driven I was since I was a young girl.

As I kept testing this out on everyone I met last year, it became apparent that what was happening to me was the norm. Most people that received their Adler Identity reported back to me saying that they consciously thought they were their secondary identity type! The primary identity type is so largely Unconscious for all of us, that it goes unchecked! We forget who we are in the bigger sense!!!

In my case, I had to examine what this information meant to me. Having thought of myself as a Race Horse, I had to see what had driven me to be that way. And it was this. I was a pleaser. I wanted my parents' love and approval so much, and I wanted to please them so much, and because what they wanted me to be was to be was what most Asian parents typically want, a Good Daughter who gets good grades and wins competitions. And then I thought of how actually this made sense. Even though, I do have competitiveness in me, that was not my dominant nature. I was a Pleaser & Pleasure Seeking Identity, and that is what motivated me to be so competitive! It shed light on my adult years too; after my parents' approval became less of an issue for me, I felt like I was drifting in my life. I couldn't survive all the office politics in the corporate advertising world.

This Conscious/Unconscious Self is really interesting. One of my clients who is a super saleswoman at Samsung Insurance who wins MVP awards all the time, she tested as the opposite of what I got. She was a Superiority Seeking Dominant with a secondary Pleasure Seeking Identity. But all her life, she believed she was more of her secondary type, and she spoke and dressed that way. When you looked at her professional life though, it was clear without a doubt that her main identity is the Superiority Seeking Identity. Now, being the Superiority Seeking Type, she paid little attention to grooming because she's always on the go. So she never learned how to do her makeup, she didn't know how to line her eyes, so we got her to try it out. We dressed her in all the right design elements & had a mini photo shoot. She really looked hot & professional, and we had so much fun! I got her some speedy makeup goodies she could use on her commute, and she's become more skillful in applying them now~!

For most clients, the Adler Identity Assessment gives a clear picture of their Primary and Secondary Identity. But in order to be sure, we do have a session that revisits your Early Memories. This gives us a more concrete look at how your motivations in life were formed, and how this has shaped you into how you operate NOW.

In Adler Identity Coaching, the sessions are given in one on one or group setting. The families that have done it as a group seems to have benefited the most because there is so much vulnerability and discovery in the process. We had a highschool girl who needed some career counseling and the changes that she was going through led to a family coaching session where the mother who was hurting the family without knowing, but the family got to see where the pain had sprung from. And it was actually an experience that was lodged into her Unconscious at a very early age.

I guess for me the most intimate moment was when I had the conversation with my mother. My mom's questionnaire result seemed to be a fit for how she wanted to be now, but we wanted to be sure, so we worked on her early memories. There had been a few issues that I tended to get into serious conflict with her growing up, and that day, as I listened to her 3 memories, it became clear where the conflict was. And as my mom said so herself, my mom shifted her identity to please my dad after marriage. And in later life, my mom often felt miserable and dissatisfied. She had lost track of who she really was. My mom's Adler Identity type is primarily Pleasing Seeking, with a secondary Control Seeking identity. As they are almost opposite ends of the spectrum, some of the desires that she has were difficult for me to understand. But once I knew the source of her identity, I felt more compassion towards her. And it became understandable.

I will conclude with my Dad's assessment for today. My Dad is a practicing coach and he asked me to KonMari his wardrobe and home office. Initially, he said he wasn't interested anything fashion related, so I said, OK, I will just help him with the Zen style clearing thing for him that day.

We were going through his winter knit wear pile, and I asked him which ones he actually wore, and which ones he didn't. And once we got talking about them, it naturally led to a discussion about this one knit top that he loves which was actually a very cheap find! He told me he would reach for that sweater time and time again. He had bought it without thinking too much at the time, but of all the sweaters he owns, this is the one that's easiest to put on for daily wear, and also the easiest to wash.

Looking at his Adler Identity Scores though, it was just super clear to me. My Dad's assessment showed that he was a very high score for his Primary Identity as a Superiority Seeking person, with a secondary Control Seeking Identity.

The sweater in question had the right colors and texture for Superiority Seeking type, with the stripe patterns going on that reflected his secondary identity!

But that wasn't the end of it. He had a dozen silk shirts, all white, all pristine, all very expensive... and he NEVER wore them! He had held on to them because they were fine silk and cost a lot. After I explained to him that his identity would do better with a lightly textured weaves for shirts, he was able to let them all go. He sent them off to a younger friend in Jeju Island.

All right. This is what I'll share for now. If you'd like to know more about figuring out your type, feel free to email me at Cheers!


Jessica FlatShoenista

Jul 14, 2016

[Multi-Post] Have You Met Your Diamond-Self Yet? Plus some helpful resources on Following Your Dreams & Making It to the Success Line...

Wow. That must be like the longest blog post title ever!! :D

OK. So this is going to be long... Because I have so many thoughts running around in my head...

For those of you who are busy, here's a bullet list so you can jump right into checking these people out! They've help me shift towards more Success & Joy, so I hope they will for you too!!

1. So I'm in a bliss like state at the moment, having spent a few days, listening to Christie Marie Sheldon's audio course. I had heard about the book Power VS Force before from another coach from last year, and even have two copies of the book, one in Korean and one in English... but I found her style and format so much easier to use on a daily basis. And much affordable too. 

I'm writing this post here because in my energy clearing today, I was able to reconnect with my Inner Diamond-Self... I used to work with a Love Mentor a few years ago... and we had some fun exercises playing with the Diamond Self. Her name was still the same, and she was even more vivid to me this time. She's like the most developed and gorgeous version of me I guess. Her name is Valerie, she has a lot longer hair than me, she was wearing a floral print dress and she even had a guy in a suit next to her (I'm single, LOL). Anywho. I stumbled across her through Mind Valley I think, and bought her Love or Above course first and between the morning meditation and evening meditation, I had great results from the latter. I was at a very stressful point in my week and it shifted me so immensely, I was hooked. I've been doing it everyday since. Then there were some other bonuses which was a recorded class, and that was pretty helpful too. Then finally, I was able to find her UnlimitedAbundance course, which was pricey but because her other products had been so wonderful, and there was a money back guarantee, I decided to give it a try. Wow. This really was the REAL DEAL! In it, she covers 24 money blocks that most of us have, and I've done about 5 or 6 of them so far, and some of them have given me physical shifts and energy releases. My biggest blocks were around Self Worth and Blame. OK. So. I'm just putting it out here, because I sincerely hope you'll find more abundance & love also!! :D

2. Marcia Wieder was also recommended by Vishen... I think I found her listed in the Tribe in the MindValley. And she's so to the point. She's much older than Christie Marie, and has a lot of marketing background. I've never seen anyone pack so much insight into what she calls "sound-bytes"... But she's been helping so many people get on their path to live their dreams. She gives some free video action steps which are very well thought out. Her format is punchy but it's actually quite deep. The second video was about completing something that was incomplete because Integrity is important in achieving your dream! 

3. MindValley is the hub of all the leading self-help gurus if you life. I joined Vishen's group because he thought in systems and has a background in engineering. Very innovative and 21st century... 

4. Barbara Sher was my rock of comfort way way back in 2001 to 2006, which was my mid 20s. What Carol Tuttle calls Type 1, she calls it Scanners. And all of these ideas that keep getting generated in my head... is also known as Ideaphoria. I am finding that once I left the stress but also the *security* of a paycheck job, I'm needing a new *tribe.* Working alone has its merits but also a new learning curve! So after almost a year of thinking it over, I decided to go ahead with starting a Success Team which is a first in my city/country! I also saw a cool YouTube video which is about time management for Scanners... If you're a Scanner who is interested in so many things, check this video out: How to plan your time. For Scanners ( Barbara Sher's idea - refuse to choose)

5. If you like writing & would like to earn some extra cash, I just found this cool list on SherBoard... 54 Writing Platforms that Pay Writers. Or if you like to write about fashion like me, try this one too! 10 Women’s Magazines that Pay Freelance Writers (My published writer friend says that some of the links no longer pay btw... So now, it's like a treasure hunt!!!)

6. Last but not least, Vishen's tribe also included this really cool and surprising approach on finding your Dream Career... It felt like finding the answer right below your nose for me! Here's the video that blew my mind... Try it for yourself!!

How To Uncover Your True Purpose — "Heaven On Earth" Exercise | Martin Rutte

OK. That's all for now!
I hope you feel energized & more refreshed from some of these!!!


Jessica FlatShoenista